


i know places

by ptolemy, Sierra



Category: Free!
Genre: Bears, Canon Compliant, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Smut, carnivals, mentions of rin living it up in australia, photo booths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:58:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7664065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ptolemy/pseuds/ptolemy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sierra/pseuds/Sierra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's all fun and (carnival) games for SouGou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. loose lips sink ships

* * *

 

For the third time, the bell at the top of the high striker rang.

Sousuke glanced over his shoulder at Gou. Her arms were already occupied with the two huge stuffed bears he'd won the two previous rounds, her beaming face as radiant as if she’d won the prizes herself. At first, he thought she just really wanted the prizes but after she convinced him to play the game just _one more time_ , he started to question her motives.

Sousuke handed the mallet back and accepted the third (and final) prize bear. Gou's bed was already covered in stuffed animals and there was no chance that even one more would fit, much less three of them. Maybe the bears would be better utilised on the bed in Rin's unoccupied room for the next time he visited home. Sousuke could already hear Rin’s shriek of protest, but he also knew too well that Rin had slept with a secret shark plush through high school, and the memory of it made him grin as he wandered back over to Gou with the bear tucked under an arm. He held out a hand for the other two she was holding, and she made a fumbling motion behind them to stuff her phone (and its camera) back in her purse.

"No more," he said firmly. "Or at least pick something else."

"Okay, okay,” Gou replied with a pout, handing over the bears, which Sousuke just managed to fit under one of his arms. She looked around with a thoughtful noise, stopping when her gaze caught on what appeared to be a wall of keychains shaped like sea creatures.

"Those ones," she said, looping her hand through Sousuke's free elbow to lead him to the game, a gallery-style setup that involved shooting moving fish down with a water gun. "Then we can send them to Haru and Makoto and Rin."

Just the mention of that one name almost soured Sousuke’s mood. He didn't feel like doing anything that would involve winning a gift for Nanase. He had no issues with Tachibana and the two came as something of a package deal, but Sousuke was still resistant to the idea of exerting any effort for the sake of the Iwatobi team.

Sousuke stared down at the new game. "They'll make better presents if you win them yourself, Gou."

"Hmmm, is that a challenge, Sousuke-kun?" Gou drawled, her grin pulling up mischievously as her grip became solid on his arm. "You shouldn't be so worried just because there's no physical element, you know. I'm sure you can shoot down the terrifying fishies just as easily as you can swing a mallet." Laughing, she pulled him bodily towards one of the handles that directed a water gun, positioning herself behind another. "Don't get scared when they start jumping.”

Gou's grin was a mirror image of Rin's, down to the way her eyes sparkled and her eyebrows pulled together intently when presented with a challenge. And just like with Rin, Sousuke was completely powerless to resist. A debilitating weakness to Matsuokas would probably be the death of him, and he made a note to himself to decide on an appropriate inscription for his tombstone sooner rather than later.

Between them, they could have talked him into (or out of) anything with just a whisper of those twin smiles—or smirks, depending on their moods. Sousuke only hoped neither of them had picked up on it. Though Rin and Gou were blessed with looks, ambitiousness, and a preternatural charisma, they also had a tendency to be oblivious. Rin tended to see what he _wanted_ to see, and Gou—well, Sousuke was still trying to figure her out.

But not a lot had changed about Gou, least of all her competitive streak, since Sousuke had left high school and regular contact with her. With an answering smirk, Sousuke followed her lead, directing the water one-handed as his other arm continued to grapple three bears. He managed to shoot down four fish in rapid succession when they appeared, accompanied by plinky carnival music.

"You were saying?" he said with a smug glance at Gou. "You can have whatever I win this time, too, as a consolation prize."

Ignoring Sousuke's taunts, Gou concentrated on the fish when it was her turn, feet braced, body locked. She fired off shots quickly, smoothly, taking down six fish in a row and then one more for good measure before her water ran out.

Grinning, she looked to Sousuke and made a v-sign with her fingers. She then pointed one finger at Sousuke and made a gun motion, sticking out her tongue at him. "You were saying? Bang, bang!"

Sousuke sighed and made a gesture of surrender, following a laughing Gou over to the wall of prizes without comment. As she pointed out the aquatic keychains she wanted to the booth worker, Sousuke’s gaze landed on the shark, and his thoughts ran, as they always did, back to Rin. He wondered again (and again, and again) whether there was any piece of home for Rin in Australia, if the homesickness ever became too much when he was so far separated from his family and friends.

Rin transferring schools was painful enough—something Sousuke kept to himself even when he was still in touch with Gou. Rin packing up his entire life into a single bag and leaving Japan so shortly after meeting Nanase dug something sharp and aching inside Sousuke’s chest, a void that never quite seemed to fill no matter how many trophies lined his shelves or how far he ran. He remembered how much he had missed home even at the peak of his career in Tokitsu when he'd been surrounded by like-minded people in an environment that fostered his determination and steeled it into sheer will. To think Rin _enjoyed_ being far from home was still a sore point, and watching him leave _again_ for Australia after high school only buried that knife a little deeper.

Sousuke smoothed his expression over when he realised he was glaring down at one of the bears in his arms, glad that Gou seemed to have missed his momentary lapse.

"I was saying," he said, moving closer so he could give Gou a gentle nudge as she collected her handful of prizes, "these will be more meaningful since they're from you. Better send Rin two, though. He'll ruin the first one with his crying."

Gou looked at Sousuke, and for the briefest moment, the expression on her face seemed to see right through him, soft with sympathy; it was gone a moment later, her eyes pulled down again hastily. She picked through her keychains (a penguin, an orca, a dolphin, and a clown fish in place of a butterfly) before closing on the shark, turning and pressing it into Sousuke’s free hand.

"I think Rin would much rather hear from you than me, Sousuke-kun," she said, her eyes scanning his.

Something thick lodged itself in Sousuke’s throat as his fingers closed around the keychain.

"Besides," Gou said, taking the bears from his arms and setting them on the prize table. She picked out one, the one with the grumpiest expression and looked around to see if there were any kids she could offer the others to. "Sousuke-kuma is mine. Rin can win his own."

Letting the tension in his shoulders relax again, Sousuke flicked the ear of the bear in Gou's arms. If something had to be named after him, he'd take Gou and the bear over Momo and the stag beetle any day of the week. He watched as Gou rehomed the other two bears in record time, his fist closed around the shark until its fins dug marks into his palm.

It had been too long since he’d sent Rin a letter. He’d given up on email correspondence months ago when it was clear Rin was just too busy—and too distractible—to respond. Matching up their schedules with the added problem of time-zones made Skype calls nearly impossible, and the lag when they _did_ find the time drove Sousuke up a wall. A letter was the most simple, heartfelt thing he could give Rin, and he could do it without giving too much away.

"Anything else you want to do?" he asked when Gou returned to his side, standing close enough to him that their shoulders touched. _Just no more rides that spin._

Gou hugged the bear close to her chest and hooked her arm around Sousuke's to link their hands. It was a bolder move than she'd tried yet (clinging to him on the roller coaster didn't really count), and even though every implication of a date was laid out in their day together, it had—like many other things—remained unspoken. She glanced around the park, humming under her breath.

"Ferris wheel?" she suggested, glancing up at Sousuke. "I also think I saw a photo booth..."

Holding hands with Gou felt natural, as everything with her did. Sousuke slipped his fingers through the gaps between hers, thumb brushing over the back of her hand.

"Both," he said in agreement, shifting in the direction of the ferris wheel, where it towered over the top of all the game tents. "We can send one of the strips to Rin." Slipping the keychain into his pocket, Sousuke looked back at Gou with a small grin. "Give him a reason to pick up the phone for once."

Gou laughed at that, taking a couple of quick steps to keep up with Sousuke. "My thoughts exactly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sierra: ([tumblr](http://sierrasuke.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/sierrasuke))
> 
> dawn: ([tumblr](http://finship.tumblr.com/))


	2. it could burn out

Sousuke and Gou got through the Ferris wheel line quite briskly, and boarded a car together, thankfully alone. Gou took the seat beside Sousuke, hesitating only a moment to consider the seat across, but this way meant they didn't have to stop holding hands, even as Gou peered out her window at the world swinging away below them. "Oh! It goes higher than I expected!"

"Does it?" Sousuke said, furtively glancing at the bear and the floor. "No kidding."

It wasn't until she turned back to Sousuke to ask him something that Gou noticed the tension all over Sousuke's body, the way he was looking straight and focused in a way Rei often did when he was terrified. Hard as it was to imagine Sousuke afraid of anything, the evidence was right in front of her, and Gou slid a little closer to Sousuke, reaching up to tilt his chin towards her, away from the surrounding windows. The bear was squeezed slightly between them as she smiled at him.

"We don't have to watch the view," she murmured, leaving her hand on his cheek, pads of her fingers stroking his jaw. "If you'd rather not."

Her heart was suddenly racing, attention split between Sousuke's eyes and his lips. It was the closest she'd gotten to suggesting anything, but it felt right in that moment, and she swallowed, letting her fingers slide into his hair as she guided him a little closer.

As her fingers slid over the nape of his neck, Sousuke paused; she had been giving him lingering looks for a lot longer than just today, but her hints in the last hour had been beyond a shadow of a doubt. He leaned into the touch, his own eyes lidded, all thought of their lurching metal box in the sky forgotten.

"The view's better from here," he said, a slow, small grin curling at one side of his mouth as he closed the last of the distance between them.

Gou wasn't often the type to get embarrassed, but the moment Sousuke's lips met hers so gently, his chapped but soft and a little sweet with carnival snacks, a hot flush rose to Gou's cheeks and stuck there, and she suddenly felt... _shy_. She'd gone in confident to the point of cocky, but Sousuke always managed to undo any reasonable, coherent plans she had to get what she wanted.

When they pulled back again, her hand was gripping his firmly, and she met his grin with a smile of her own, the flush nearly permanent.

"You should've said you don't like heights, dummy," she murmured, tapping the back of his neck with her hand. "Don't feel like you have to kiss me out of terror, okay? You don't," she paused, her cheeks darkening, "have to force yourself."

Sousuke smirked at her and threw his weight back until his shoulders hit the window, meaning he didn't have to look anywhere but at Gou's face in front of him. He then tugged her forward until she was up against his chest, his free hand tangling in her ponytail, and that small gesture alone was intimate enough to send a tiny tremor up Gou’s spine. She leaned in helplessly, her free hand finding his pectoral muscles automatically through his shirt before she realized what she was doing and moved to his arm instead.

"Yeah," Sousuke drawled. "Forced. Been dreaming of that since elementary school." He paused, his confidence broken by a slightly embarrassed flush. "I crushed on you hard, Gou. Guess I was too scrawny for you then, huh?"

"You were never scrawny," Gou snapped back impulsively, scowling, but refusing to break her gaze from his. "You just had your eyes in other places.”

Biting her tongue before more got out than she intended, repressed feelings and years of things unsaid, Gou stared intently at Sousuke, her brother’s constant companion, never one without the other. Even after Rin had left for Australia the first time, he’d never really stopped dwelling in Sousuke and Gou’s interactions; even if Gou believed Sousuke’s crush on her, she knew he hadn’t ever seen _just_ her. Her brother had always managed to loom large in her life even where he wasn’t wanted, and that had smothered Gou’s hopes long before they’d even had time to ignite.

But Rin wasn’t here, now, and Sousuke’s gaze was burning into hers without wavering.

“Gou…” he started to say, running a thumb over her lower lip, but he was suddenly interrupted by a lurch as the ride came to a stop and their car swung slightly at the ground level again.

They had gone all the way around without seeing much of the view, and Gou skittered back onto her seat to avoid being in a slightly compromising position when the worker opened their door. She didn't let go of Sousuke's hand, though, and as soon as they had clambered free of the Ferris wheel car, she gripped it firmly, looking up at him with an expression full of unspoken intentions and none of them polite.

"Photo booth," she said firmly, already leading them in that direction, her heart racing in her throat. Gou led Sousuke easily through the crowds, weaving between people and dragging Sousuke’s broader body behind, knocking shoulders with other people along the way.

When they got to an open photo booth, Sousuke tugged the curtain back, holding it open for her with an amused smirk. He still didn't let go of her hand, and she found herself liking how neatly it fit in his just a little too much.

"I haven't done this before," he mused, glancing inside at the very cramped space. "Or the Ferris wheel."

"Well, unless you're afraid of bright lights or small spaces, this is much less scary," Gou replied, a teasing laugh in her voice as she fed her coins to the machine inside.

She waited until Sousuke had joined her in the booth to sit, and it quickly became clear that he was just a bit too wide to comfortably sit beside her and fit in the frame, so Gou seized an opportunity to carefully slide into his lap instead, sitting sideways and letting go of his hand just so she could slide her arms around his neck.

"Now," she said, gazing at him as she pointed at the screen and the camera lens. "Press that button and the camera will take four shots, about thirty seconds apart. So we can do different poses or..." She paused, unable to tear her eyes away from him as some of her competitive smirk returned. "Or whatever."

"Or whatever," Sousuke repeated slowly. He wound both arms around her waist in response, his expression some unreadable mix of intensity and an almost dumbfounded surprise that she was _in his lap_.

When the first flash went off, Sousuke and Gou went with the safe bet at the same time and threw up shit-eating grins, cheek-to-cheek. That would make a nice memento for Rin, at least, of the time his best friend went on a date with his sister and _kissed her_.

Gou only felt the heat under her skin get worse with Sousuke holding her so firmly, so close she could feel every muscle tense from his thighs to his biceps. She threw one more cute face with a peace sign towards the camera for shot two, and the third became a silly shot, her tongue stuck out and hand making bunny ears behind Sousuke's head, before she scolded herself for cowardice. This wasn't the point of coming here, and cute wasn't going to cut it.

Besides, she thought as she guided Sousuke to look at her instead, she was very interested in seeing how good a kisser Sousuke was when he wasn't completely caught off-guard. She leaned in and brushed their lips together, praying for a heartbeat that her breath was okay, her hair was obediently adorable, that she wasn't making his leg numb with her weight, before the moment caught up with her and she sank into the kiss, the camera light flashing behind her closed eyelids.

The answer to how good a kisser Sousuke was when he was trying was _very_. Sousuke’s hand came up to cradle the back of her neck as they moved together, the push and pull of their lips become more and more heated until Gou's breath was heavy every time they parted for a fraction of a moment, until her tongue was sliding against his and her hands smoothed over his neck, his shoulders, his back.

When they finally did part, her eyes were lidded and dark in the dim light, and she murmured, "Dreaming since elementary school, huh? Maybe I'm the one who didn't know what I was missing."

Sousuke smiled at her, almost coy, before his mouth chased hers for another soft, slow kiss, sliding a hand into her hair.

"We can make up for lost time,” he murmured. His eyes dropped to one side briefly, something more pained crossing his expression. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Gou made a soft sound of approval, trying to chase Sousuke's gaze a little by dipping her head, pressing a kiss to his chin, the corner of his mouth, the tip of his nose. He always had the air of someone about to dip into sadness the moment you looked away from him, his attitude set in a permanent state of just getting by, struggling through. It was the same kind of look that had driven Gou to reach out to him in the first place, and she wanted to smooth it from his features now, to remind him he wasn't alone.

"I'd like that," she murmured, her voice low and promising. She smiled, pressing their lips together again without closing her eyes before she reached over to grab their photos from the slot.

They were, as predicted, absolutely adorable, and the last one of them kissing made Gou flush again at how... _into it_ they both looked. She offered one copy to Sousuke, who grinned at them.

"We could take a few more..." she said, momentarily thankful they hadn't been interrupted by anyone waiting for them to finish, for this short moment of privacy. Sousuke tore his eyes away from where they’d been staring at the last photo, that captured moment of intimacy, and he tucked the strip quickly into his pocket and dug for spare coins instead.

"Who are these for?" he asked, tickling Gou under the ribs while the machine loaded.

Gou giggled, squirming in his lap with a grin until the welcome screen loaded in her peripheral. She quickly leaned in, pressing her lips to Sousuke's ear to murmur, "Depends on if you keep kissing me like that, Sousuke-kun. They might not be appropriate for public consumption in that case."

Without waiting to be prompted, Gou reached out and smacked the button for the photos to begin, then wrapped her arms intently around Sousuke's neck and pulled him into another kiss, shyness abandoned for the sudden thrill rushing through her. By the third flash of the camera, Sousuke's hand had settled on her waist, dragging her closer with every lapse in the kiss, and Gou had squirmed over enough to straddle Sousuke’s hips instead, gaining a slight angle over him to level out their disparate heights. Her cheeks burned when a small shift and a hard brush against her thigh told her everything she needed to know about how much Sousuke was enjoying this, and she gave a soft, breathy moan, her lower lip captured briefly in Sousuke’s teeth before he let her pull back again.

"I don't think we should share those," he murmured.

Gou turned her head just in time to catch the last shot of the camera, tongue sticking out tauntingly at it, her arms coiled possessively around Sousuke's neck and the rest of her turned away from the camera. That was the winner, she thought as the image flashed back at them on the screen, the one to give to _whoever_ wanted to make something of it.

"Maybe not," she said, giggling and pressing another soft kiss to Sousuke's lips for a lingering moment. "We don't have to stick around, if you'd rather... go somewhere else?"

Sousuke looked up at her, his expression almost hesitant, but hard to read in the low light. He seemed to be mulling his choices; Gou's place was out of the question for a start.

"Mine?" he asked in a mutter, averting his eyes quickly. "It's a bit far, but..."

"Yes," Gou agreed hastily before she could stop herself, or her jumping nerves or second thoughts could catch up to her. She was impulsive, yes, but this was _Sousuke_ , someone she trusted implicitly and loved deeply. She couldn't say she hadn't done more with people she'd felt much less for. Photos in her purse, she slid off of Sousuke's lap and led him out of the booth without another word, just a tug at his hand and a grin on her lips.

"We can take the train," she said, fingers sliding between his. "Maybe I'll get ice cream on the way out..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sierra: ([tumblr](http://sierrasuke.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/sierrasuke))
> 
> dawn: ([tumblr](http://finship.tumblr.com/))
> 
> warning: next chapter is thousands of words of gratuitous porn and sin. :*


	3. and you know for me it's always you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Even if you promise, it's too much of a risk," he murmured. "Guess you're staying until I think of a way to keep you quiet."
> 
> "Guess so. Hope you have a spare toothbrush," Gou said. She leaned into the brush of his hand, her arms coiled around his neck to keep him close. "And what will you do to me while you have me?"
> 
> Sousuke pressed his lips together to fight back a smile, because unlike her brother, Gou never beat around the bush when it came to what she wanted. She took it with both hands, and while he considered himself smooth enough for some wordplay, it was clear she wanted him to follow through. Just the thought made heat spike low in his stomach; with Rin around, making a move had never been an option, no matter how openly she eyed him.
> 
> Now, though, he grasped the back of a thigh and pulled her over his lap, hand skimming over the fabric of her skirt. A slow grin came to his lips.
> 
> "Start with fingers," he said, thumb stroking over her hipbone through the clothes. "Work my way up from there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long chapters are long. 10k, to be exact. hopefully worth the wait!

_and you know for me, it's always you_  
_I know places_  
_in the dead of night, your eyes so green_  
_I know places_  
_and I know for you, it's always me_

* * *

On the way to the train station, Sousuke tried to focus on something other than the link of their hands and the slight issue he now had. He only relaxed when they were safely inside a train, Gou with her ice cream, and him with a bottle of water, already half-finished, the giant stuffed bear wedged between their bodies. It wasn't hot but he was sweating under his shirt, and he had to let go of Gou's hand to roll his sleeves up at one point. His gaze darted around the train carriage—anywhere but her tongue on that ice cream, swirling only _slightly_ too deliberately.

Once he had his breathing even again, Sousuke settled against Gou's side, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"No photo opportunities when we get there," he said, pausing, "right?"

Gou started to scoff at his suggestion, but suddenly seemed distracted by the thought. Her eyes went glassy and her gaze distant, before she snapped out of it and feigned an innocent look.

"I have _some_ self-control," she protested. “I mean... They would just be for me. It's not that different from a swimsuit. Er..." Sousuke’s expression seemed to bring her back to earth and she sighed. "No photo opportunities.”

As the train lurched to a stop, Sousuke grimaced, both at the brief nausea welling in his stomach, and the way Gou's face fell just long enough for her Matusoka-eyes to work their power on him. He made a show of sighing heavily and loudly, taking Gou's hand again as the doors slid open with a hiss.

"One," he told her, glancing away with the tips of his ears burning. "And just for your use. If Rin found out..." He trailed off, cutting his thoughts at the quick as he guided Gou through the train station and out onto the street. "If you like me alive, just keep it for yourself."

Gou's energy seemed to immediately swell upwards and she followed Sousuke with a spring in her step, polishing off the ice cream as they left the station.

"Promise!" she said. "Of course I would never share anything like _that_ with him. Gross.”

Turning down a street, Sousuke hesitated, reading over two street signs. He gave their surroundings a once-over before he changed directions abruptly. Being back for over a year had still done nothing to help his sense of direction, and he doubted he could even get to Samezuka from here if he made a real effort, despite having done the same route (give or take a few major detours) for the same amount of time. Thankfully, if Gou noticed, she didn’t mention their strange route.

"Rin has enough material for extortion as it is," Sousuke continued wryly as they walked, his gaze intent on familiar landmarks. "He framed me once with that shark he keeps around.”

“Toothy,” Gou corrected with a faint sigh.

“Yeah. Momo actually believed it. At least Ai was smart enough not to trust Rin's bullshit."

Just remembering the day he’d had woken up to a stuffed toy in his arms and Rin hovering over his bed with a camera phone and the biggest grin Sousuke had ever seen on him brought a sour taste to his mouth.

"Tell me that's something only boys in the Matsuoka family inherit," he said, smirking down at Gou.

Recognising the street one over from his apartment with some relief, Sousuke started rifling through his pocket for his keys as they crossed towards his building.

"Tch," Gou said, an indignant scoff. "I'm not a jerk like Rin is, if that's what you're implying. Besides, Momo will believe anything you tell him, with or without proof. No one else will listen to Rin anymore.” Gou tugged Sousuke’s hand with a conspiratorial grin. “But if you ever want photos of _Rin_ sleeping with that shark, I'd be happy to provide."

"We should swap," Sousuke mused, smirk broadening as he opened his front door and led Gou inside. "I've got some you might be interested in." Still packed away in the boxes after he'd packed up the dorm, of course. And, along with a lot of other things that reminded him of Samezuka, that was where they had to stay.

Sousuke let go of Gou's hand to start moving around the apartment and flicking on lights.

"Want a drink?" he asked, taking the bear from Gou and setting it on the couch as she divested herself of her purse, shoes, and cardigan. "Merlot?"

"Soda is fine, Sousuke-kun," Gou said with a small laugh, seating herself on the couch next to her bear. "Besides," she added seriously, "drinking interferes with your muscle growth and hinders your recovery time after a workout."

Her serious frown broke with a small, teasing smile, unable to hold still for long. Sousuke matched the look and disappeared into the kitchen, returning with two colas a minute later. He sat down, choosing the seat on the other side of Sousuke-kuma again. Somehow, things seemed safer with a stuffed animal buffer.

"Just how much time did you spend researching for the benefit of your team?" Sousuke popped the tab on his cola and scoffed. "Like Nanase’s been to a gym in his life.”

Gou gave a long, weary sigh, opening her cola and taking a drink.

"All of my free time," she said. “And do they appreciate it? I still have to strong-arm Rei into eating foods that are more than just beautiful." She sighed again, scooting closer until Sousuke-kuma was fairly crushed between their hips.

"And don't start arguing about Haruka when he's not even here,” she added, waving her can at him. “His muscles are pristine, even if he doesn't eat right to maintain them. I'm sure his trainers in Tokyo are keeping him in shape. I just hope Makoto isn't letting those back muscles go to waste..."

She trailed off, her tone slipping a little, and Sousuke noticed her expression seemed to go distant, to some dark and unspoken place she was avoiding. With a lurch, Sousuke suddenly realized that Gou had lost more than just a brother to the inevitable changes that came after graduation; she had lost half her small swimming club, and they were all going to graduate themselves soon enough.

Sousuke tugged the bear free from between them and put it on the floor, out of sight. He leaned over to kiss Gou's cheek gently, giving her hair a playful, light tug like he had done since they were kids, when she had barely reached his chest. She still didn't, and the thought made him smirk.

"If we're going to argue,” he said, “it's over the name of the bear. I don't see why it has to be _my_ name."

"Because it looks like you," Gou answered simply, the brightness returning to her expression again. She set her soda down at her feet so she could reach up with both hands and pinch Sousuke's cheeks lightly, pulling his lips upwards. "He's frowny on the outside, but soft and squishy on the inside. I can't think of a better name."

Sousuke pretended to scowl and Gou laughed, leaning upwards to press their lips together briefly. It was a stretch between their heights, and so she pulled her legs onto the couch and under herself, rising on her knees to bring herself up to Sousuke's height.

"That's better," she commented, hands sliding from Sousuke's face to his hair. "I'll take suggestions, but it'll be hard to beat Sou-kuma."

"Squishy, huh." Sousuke's smirk returned at the memory of Rin laughing himself almost to death at the allegedly identical resting bitch face he shared with Nanase. He slid an arm around Gou's shoulders, and pulled her close, enjoying that she was more on his level now. "I can't just let you walk away with that kind of information, Gou," he said. His teeth showed when he grinned, and he kissed her again, warm and affectionate. "Sorry."

Gou laughed, leaning forward until their foreheads bumped together, her chest pressed against him none-too-subtly.

"And what are you going to do to me to keep me from talking?" she said, her voice low and playful. "Keep me here in your prison slash bachelor pad with Sou-kuma until we promise to tell no one we've seen you smile more than once today?"

More than a few things sprang to mind, but Sousuke managed not to say any of them, if only because every coherent thought fizzled away into nothing when she ended up flush against him. Keeping his gaze firmly on Gou's face, he brushed the back of his hand over her cheek, eyelids lowering as he stole another brief, teasing kiss.

"Even if you promise, it's too much of a risk," he murmured. "Guess you're staying until I think of a way to keep you quiet."

"Guess so. Hope you have a spare toothbrush," Gou said. She leaned into the brush of his hand, her arms coiled around his neck to keep him close. "And what will you do to me while you have me?"

Sousuke pressed his lips together to fight back a smile, because unlike her brother, Gou never beat around the bush when it came to what she wanted. She took it with both hands, and while he considered himself smooth enough for some wordplay, it was clear she wanted him to follow through. Just the thought made heat spike low in his stomach; with Rin around, making a move had never been an option, no matter how openly she eyed him.

Now, though, he grasped the back of a thigh and pulled her over his lap, hand skimming over the fabric of her skirt. A slow grin came to his lips.

"Start with fingers," he said, thumb stroking over her hipbone through the clothes. "Work my way up from there."

Gou grinned, not as toothily as her brother but no less playful or full of intent.

"An ambitious plan," she said, shifting her hips, and suddenly Sousuke was all too conscious of the fact that she would be able to _feel_ exactly what his intentions were. "Maybe you should start somewhere up here,” she found his other hand, guiding it up and under her shirt, “and see how you do, first."

Sousuke snorted before Gou kissed him soundly and silenced any riposte. His own breath hitched when her hips moved against his very deliberately, his thoughts thrown into a fog. He had to open his eyes to remind himself that this was the one of his best friends as well as Rin's little sister, and in the span of a moment Sousuke realised how much she had changed since he'd been away, how much she'd grown (in some ways more than others). He broke the kiss to slide his other hand under her shirt as well, pushing it up slowly, his eyes trained on her chest.

"Shit," he muttered, swallowing as he risked a glance at Gou's face. She just grinned again, shifting back to help him work the shirt over her head. Her bra, wine red to match her hair, seemed like a deliberate taunt, or perhaps an invitation.

"This seems fair," Sousuke muttered, though his voice betrayed how dry his throat had gone. "For all the times you had our teams stripped down to almost nothing."

"You mean your _swimming team_?" Gou asked, an incredulous smirk tugging at her lips. "Stripped down to your _swimsuits_? How true, what a terrible monstrous pervert I am."

Her laugh caught on a whispery exhale when Sousuke's lips found her throat, pressing over her fluttering pulse, and she leaned in closer, her hands finding his and drawing them around to cup at her breasts through the bra.

Despite the fact Rin was safely a world over, Sousuke was still hesitant to touch. He reasoned that Gou was already half-naked in his lap, her face flushed with desire, so there was no reason for him to keep questioning it. He couldn't push the apprehension away altogether, but he tried to focus on Gou instead of how hard Rin was going to punch him when he found out about this--and he would, because Sousuke couldn't lie to him, and Gou was clearly on a mission to let Rin know something, intent on making a statement with that photo strip she tucked into her purse earlier.

As he gently tilted her head so he could lean in closer, Sousuke ran his fingers along the edge of her bra, pleased to find it edged with lace. He didn't want to push too much, and he knew he would have to rely on her to lead him somewhat. While he was hardly a stranger to this, it wasn't every day he felt such a protective urge towards someone he took to bed.

“Sousuke," she murmured, as if sensing his hesitation and overriding it. "I won't break. Promise."

"More like you’ll break me," he murmured, giving her skin a light nip before he reluctantly let his eyes meet hers. His hands had found the hook of her bra, but did nothing more than touch it questioningly. "You're important to me, Gou. How far have you--?"

"You're not my first, if that's what you're worried about,” Gou interrupted, her expression a mix of exasperation and amusement.

A wave of relief came over Sousuke; he hadn't expected to be her first—she already seemed to know too much for _that_ —but it still took some of the pressure off the decision. First times were something he actively avoided mostly because of the emotional entanglements and the fact that Sousuke had nothing to give to anyone else in that respect.

"You're important to me, too," Gou added as if sensing his thoughts, her voice softer as her hands smoothed down the hair along the side of his head, her forehead resting against his again. "I don't need any strings. And it isn't about Rin, either. It's just you," she reached back, fingers sliding past his and easily unhooking her bra, "and me." Her eyes held his steady, frozen, as if trying to impress something unspoken onto him. "I meant it: you don't have to force yourself."

Taking over for Gou's hands, Sousuke curled a finger around one strap and slid the bra off the rest of the way. With a quick glance at her face and a suppressed, pleased sound, Sousuke shifted sideways abruptly, and Gou landed underneath him on the couch with a squeak.

"Then let's make it about us," he murmured, taking the time to appreciate her bare chest and the way her hair framed her face. His palm slid up her stomach and chest slowly as he moved down, lips hovering just over hers.

Gou’s breath was heavy, and there was no sign of hesitation on her face as she sank into the couch comfortably.

"Then the us thinks you should take your shirt off," she murmured back, reached up to undo her ponytail where it pressed against the couch. "For fairness."

Sitting back on his haunches, Sousuke reached down to comply, taking the ends of his shirt in both hands and tugging it over his head slowly in a way he knew made his muscles stretch and tighten, so she could have her fill, too. Predictably, Gou's expression went into a misty stare as she surveyed the skin he exposed for her, and Sousuke smirked, pleased he could still have that effect on her even in the intimacy of the moment.

Then he made for the clasp of Gou's skirt, opening it and easing his fingers past the waist so he could start pulling it down as well. Sousuke's face grew hot when he saw the matching underwear she was wearing, setting off her eyes and her hair against the colour of her skin. He yanked the skirt off the rest of the way before he settled more comfortably between her thighs, palming gently at one of her breasts.

"Better?" he asked, taking her mouth in another kiss, heavy to convey the sheer _want_ now burning in him. "You're beautiful."

"Much," she whispered, her tone breathy. She leaned into the kiss with fervor, her own hands eagerly exploring the muscles she couldn't quite see, tracing down his pecs and over his arms. "Sousuke..."

Pushing his free hand into Gou's hair, Sousuke lowered his body until it was pressed up tightly against Gou's, leaving just enough room enough for his hand to work in slow, teasing circles over her breast, pinching lightly every so often. Gou’s voice was already punctuated by soft, barely-there moans between their heated kisses, and her hand worked blindly to admire the muscles of his back, the cleft of his ass, before looping around to start working open his jeans.

The feeling of her hands combined with the sounds she was making drove away what was left of Sousuke’s composure, a sudden surge of arousal crashing around him as he groaned deeply against her. Sousuke had worn boxers under his jeans for once, and that gave him at least another barrier, one more moment to get himself back together as her hands nimbly wrenched the jeans from his hips. Almost reflexively, he ducked down to start sucking and biting at her neck, his hand gliding down over her waist and hip before settling behind her thigh, dragging it up so he could push his hips against hers a bit harder.

Trailing his tongue over the outside of her ear, he whispered, "Tell me what you like."

The question seemed to catch Gou off-guard, and she paused to look at him as if, again, seeing him for the first time. But then she recovered and the playful smile returned to her face.

"Wait and see," she said, catching his earlobe with a soft bite in response. Suddenly her leg was over his hip, bringing him into alignment so that they were pressed together tightly through thin layers of fabric. "I promise I'll show you."

" _Gou_ \--" Sousuke protested, stifling a groan, but he did nothing but shove his jeans down the rest of the way before pinning her hips down with his own, grinding slowly. Gou made a soft sound of pleasure, back arching slightly to meet his motions with her own.

"Shit, Sousuke, you're _huge_ ," she breathed, then clapped a hand over her mouth with an embarrassed laugh, hiding her face in Sousuke's shoulder.

The back of his neck and ears flushed, Sousuke rolled his eyes and bit her collarbone in return, but he couldn’t stop his grin. He pulled her other leg around his waist before sitting up, his hands sliding under her body. He kicked his jeans off entirely, never taking his eyes off her face, and then, because she was light enough to carry, he supported her with one arm under her ass as he stood. Gou quickly caught on and wrapped her legs and arms around Sousuke securely, shivering as the hard press of Sousuke’s arousal edged against her invitingly at this angle.

When they got to the bedroom, Sousuke gave the door a thump to close it. He sat back on the bed with Gou now in his lap, one hand behind him to steady himself as he let his eyes rove over every inch of her body above him, taking it in with a new appreciation.

"We don't have to go all the way," Sousuke said, brushing his fingers over her underwear to find them damp, and his voice was bordering on hoarse as he added, "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won’t," Gou said in a rush, her voice heavy, and she reached down to nest her fingers over his and guide them into her panties. She exhaled a shaky breath, her eyes dark and locked on his. "I won't break," she repeated firmly, then added with a grin, "even if you are huge. I want you. All of you.”

"Gou," Sousuke said reluctantly, but his voice didn't sound the least bit convincing, not even to him. The weight of her gaze, the clear desire in her words, and the way she guided him were affecting him more than he'd thought possible. He was powerless to do anything but obey, no matter how overwhelming the urge to treat her like something fragile. He breathed out a soft noise as his fingers grazed her folds, thumb settling over her clit.

"Gou," he said again, but this time he almost whispered it, and all caution left him as his lips touched hers briefly, warmly.

Gou responded in kind with a soft, high moan, and she leaned into the kiss almost hungrily.

"Please," she whispered against his lips, fingers chasing the curve of his stomach, his hips, then palming him softly through his boxers.

With a shiver, Sousuke complied; he slid one finger inside her, and she was already so wet he met no resistance, evoking another low, desperate sound from his own chest and a sharp gasp from Gou, her shoulders folding in. He eased a second finger in, curling them gently back towards where his thumb worked over her clit, until she repeated the sound again and again. His mouth brushed over her jaw before dipping down to her neck and lower still to her chest, where his teeth barely whispered over the edge of a nipple.

"Hope you're used to multiple orgasms," he muttered, smirking.

Despite the flush on her cheeks, Gou’s face broke into an almost competitive grin, and she swept her hair over her shoulder with one hand.

"Big--a-ah--big talk," she said, though her voice was still broken by stutters. "Before you've even hit--nn--one?"

"Always aim high," Sousuke said, his throat working around a dry swallow that became a moan at the way Gou's hips rolled over his hand, riding his fingers as she _chased_ what she wanted. Refusing to let her get too far ahead of herself, he held her ass firmly, his thumb on her hipbone managing to keep her movements restricted while his fingers caressed in slow, maddening circles. "Especially if you plan on _big_."

His teeth closed around a nipple and she gasped, her back arching to push her breasts a little closer to him.

"I like that," she said, her voice low and hungry, one hand sliding along his jaw. "Since you asked."

Grinning faintly, Sousuke jerked Gou closer by the hip, sinking his teeth in again as he pressed a third finger in and focused them over the place that made her spasm around him for the briefest moment. He hissed under his breath when the back of his wrist grazed his hypersensitive arousal, unable to recall the last time he'd been this _hard_ , this eager to do whatever he was told, so on the precipice of finishing already that it made his head spin. His hand slid from her ass to her upper back, dragging her closer so he could bite and suck hard at her skin, leaving red marks in his wake. Sousuke muttered Gou's name again, eyes flickering up to hers.

Gou sucked in her breath sharply between her teeth, then smothered any further sounds against his lips as she kissed him heatedly, but Sousuke could still feel every half-choked sound and every trace of a moan through the kiss. He deepened it, his tongue brushing over hers slowly, taking the care and the time he wasn't giving her with his fingers. When the kiss finally broke, Gou was shivering in his arms, but her gaze was still determined.

"Your turn," she whispered. "S-something--you like."

Sousuke hesitated, but only for a moment; this was Gou, and he trusted her implicitly.

"Watching you touch yourself," he whispered back, drawing her bottom lip between his teeth before a soft chuckle slipped out. "Guess I like being bossed around a bit."

“A bit, huh?” Gou’s attention hooked, her eyes refocused on his with something of a gleam about them. "Just as well I have some experience bossing swimmers around then, hm?"

The alarm bell that went off in Sousuke's head at Gou's impish grin did more to fuel the desire coursing through him than dissuade it, and he gave an answering smirk. Just the idea of Gou taking charge of her own pleasure made him implausibly hot around the neck, and he felt himself fairly twitch at the suggestiveness of her tone, what she might come up with. Sousuke was suddenly impatient to find out exactly _what_ , though not as impatient as Gou, who had already moved in to bite at his neck in return, her arms nearly trembling as they wrapped tightly around him.

"Make me come first, then we'll work on the rest," she murmured in his ear.

Sousuke went very still for a moment, pressing his face into the curve of her shoulder. "That sounded like an order."

In one motion he turned and threw her back to the bed, his hand slipping free as he moved over her. He tore her panties down, her legs squirming to help him, and spread her thighs open with both hands, drawing a tight gasp from her as he slid his fingers inside her again.

Sousuke leaned back to take her in—the way she was sprawled, her hair in a disarray around the pillow, cheeks and neck flushed—and he found he had to make an effort to hold himself back again, but for a completely different reason. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been at risk of losing his self-control, or the last time he had felt such strong attraction to _anyone_. The edge of emotion just beneath the surface made it more intense, and the intimacy of their friendship before only seemed heightened by this.

Sousuke’s chest ached with the realization, but he was quickly distracted by Gou, whose back was arching like he’d pulled something taut inside her. She was squirming, groaning, "Your mouth-- Please-- S-Sou--"

Sousuke flashed her a quick grin before sliding down, stretching out more comfortably on his stomach. She was slowly starting to become constrictive around his fingers, so he kept the pressure up, concentrating over the spots that had her thighs trembling around him as he settled between her legs. His tongue darted out over her folds and dipped down to where his fingers worked her, pulling another ripple over her skin.

The sounds coming from Gou now were almost embarrassingly loud, stuttering gasps and choked moans and Sousuke's name, over and over. Still, she did nothing to mute herself, shifting her hips slightly against him to angle him just there, then just _there_ , until he could feel her quake with every thrust, her wetness on his tongue.

It didn't take much more before the snap of her release hit all at once. Her thighs clamped around Sousuke's head and hand, riding out the friction as she convulsed around him, but he barely noticed; what stung were her nails cutting into his arm as she climaxed, but he still held on firmly as he eased her through it with another few gentle strokes of his fingers.

Then her hold slackened, and he drew back, kissing absently at the join of her hip and thigh as his eyes lifted and he licked his lips. He slid his hand up her stomach and chuckled when her skin jumped underneath it before he followed its path, aligning his body with hers again.

Leaning down, Sousuke kissed Gou, deep and slow, before murmuring, "You alright?"

“I’m amazing,” Gou murmured back, slipping her arms around him to hold him close as they kissed again. “And so are you.”

His hands continued to soothe her skin through the echoes of each tremor, and when Gou pulled back again, she seemed to have come back to herself, dazed but satisfied. Sousuke only had a moment to consider whether to suggest they stop, that this was enough for now, when one of Gou’s hands disappeared between their bodies and gripped him through his boxers, effectively smothering the idea on his tongue.

“My turn,” she whispered, her eyes suddenly focused and playful on his.

She kissed him again, and shivered afresh at the taste of herself on his lips; the sight of him moving between her legs, the echoes of his fingers inside her—those would be hard fantasies to beat when she inevitably came back to them later.

"Tell me you have a condom in reach?" she asked, reluctant to get up and fetch her own from her purse, as her hand continued to work him through his boxers.

"Yeah." Supporting himself on one hand, Sousuke reached over to his bedside drawer, pulling it open and grabbing a condom and a bottle of lube.

He kissed her again, but broke when Gou slid careful fingers into his boxers, stroking the length of him in a slow, exploratory motion, his face hidden in her neck. Feeling him properly for the first time, Gou felt a shudder run straight through her core; the wake of her release had left her hungry, empty, sated but not complete, and she squeezed him firmly in a mimicry of how she wanted him inside her, her thighs wrapped around him, taking all of him in. There was still work to be done first, but Gou moaned softly in anticipation; the work was just as good as the result.

"Sousuke," she murmured, her lips against his ear. "Switch places with me. I want to suck you off."

The groan that pulled from Sousuke's throat was muffled against Gou's neck, and she was somewhat relieved when he obeyed without protest, wrapping an arm around her waist to secure her before he rolled himself onto his back. He steadied her by the hip as she sat across him, other hand threading through the hair at the back of her neck to draw her down for another kiss, almost chaste.

"You don't have to," he said against Gou's lips.

"I know I don't _have_ to," Gou replied, her tone teasing. "I _want_ to."

She straddled his legs and started to slide backwards, still stroking him with one hand as her eyes roved hungrily over his body below her, finally able to take in every muscle without restraint. Her free hand traced the curves of his chest, feeling which ones tensed as her other hand worked; a soft moan of sheer adoration slipped from her before she caught herself, and she licked her lips as she forced her body to move lower down, hands quickly working off Sousuke's boxers.

"Sousuke..." Gou sucked in another soft breath when she could finally see all of him, her cheeks burning again.

Out of context was one thing, but to finally have all of him exposed before her, under her, to _see_ \-- She swallowed hard, fighting down a sudden intimidation at the responsibility before her, at being allowed to _touch_ Sousuke's body this way. She didn't want to mess it up. She started light, tucking her hair behind her ear with her free hand as she continued to stroke Sousuke gently with the other, dipping her head down to tease the tip with her lips and tongue.

Sousuke’s reaction was immediate, a low, desperate sound and one hand sliding into her hair.

"Gou," he muttered, mostly to the pillow.

The rest of his words seemed stuck, short-circuiting, and Gou shivered again, the sound of Sousuke's voice driving all hesitation away in place of eager determination. She worked his tip for a few moments, tongue swirling and flicking to see what would pull noises from Sousuke the most. Once she had a handle on the size, she started to slip her mouth over him more and more, her tongue and teeth brushing the skin as her jaw relaxed around him.

 _God_ , he was hot. Her eyes kept flickering upwards every time he reacted, watching the jerk of tension in his abs, his biceps flexing as he gripped the sheets. That said nothing of his quads, which she could feel tremor as her palm slid over them, her other hand continuing to stroke his length when she couldn't take it deeper. Her head bobbed in a gentle pace as she focused on what he seemed to enjoy best; she broke out in a cool sweat, her own body responding in kind, and, remembering a comment he'd made earlier about things he liked, she leaned into the impulse and slid a hand down to caress her heated folds gently, moaning around him.

When their eyes met again, Sousuke’s expression was well worth the effort; it looked as though all the air had left his body and he’d forgotten how to get it back.

He broke first, cursing softly under his breath before he brought a hand up and pressed his mouth to the back of it to smother another choked groan, eyes half-lidded.

For her part, Gou found her own touch direct but not nearly as interesting as Sousuke's had been; even sliding two fingers into herself, she couldn't seem to quite reach the same spots he had, and she knew she'd need more than this before she was ready to take all of him.

Her eyes roamed over his body once more, taking in the way he tried to hold back his reactions, the way he jerked each time she flicked her tongue just under the head or over the slit of his cock. She regretted the thought of losing this view, but she knew she couldn't get ready on her own, so she pulled her mouth back with a wet sound, a heavy breath falling over Sousuke's length instead.

"Sousuke," she murmured, shifting up and pushing her hair back with one hand. "I want you to use your fingers again. Make sure I'm," she stumbled, her authoritative tone slipping as her cheeks reddened, " _ready_."

She swallowed down the impulse to say _please_ —bossing Sousuke around was harder than she'd expected, so she let her body do the talking, climbing over him until she was backwards facing his feet, straddling his chest. She bent over, her flush nearly full-body as this exposed her completely to him, and she bit softly on his hipbone to smother her own embarrassment.

But if Sousuke noticed, he didn’t comment. She felt his hands palming the back of her thighs before a finger slid inside her again, making her whimper. She wrapped her lips around him again, and was finding her way around the new angle when Sousuke moved, and she heard the sound of the drawer rattling. He slipped a second finger inside her when a quiet, familiar buzzing sound joined the fray, and she squeaked in surprise, muffled, as a small vibrator was pressed into her clit, drawing a full-bodied shudder over her skin.

A thousand questions sprang to her mind at once about Sousuke's past relationships—she knew only a little of what he'd been willing to tell her when they were happening, and somehow a vibrator seemed... kinkier than she'd expected.

But all thoughts and questions were quickly smothered when Sousuke’s fingers starting to thrust with intention, combining with the vibrations to drive over all her weak points at once. After her first orgasm, the rest would come much easier, and she could already feel herself contracting, clenching around his fingers. Annoyed at being shown up, she redoubled her efforts with her mouth, swallowing him deep enough to feel him brush the back of her throat with a determination that surprised even herself.

Whatever sounds Sousuke wanted to muffle as a result of her efforts were done with teeth in Gou’s skin, and it quickly became apparent that their competition was lopsided; Gou’s hips twisted and rocked into the vibrator and Sousuke’s fingers kept pace, pulling her next climax off almost effortlessly. She moaned loudly around Sousuke’s length, bobbing her head with some distraction as she shivered and rocked her hips to ride out the sensation.

It was only when Sousuke’s knee jerked up sharply, his hips and thighs tensing hard, that she knew she was having an effect of her own. His voice, smothered into her skin, quickly became tight, and she relented the pressure of her mouth only when he finally gasped a warning, followed by her name, low as a prayer. She drew back, a trail of saliva chasing her lips before she turned back to grin at him.

"M-multiple orgasms only for me, huh?" she gasped, but her teasing was undone by the heavy shake in her voice; she couldn’t stop herself from grinding into the vibrator with enthusiasm. Her head sank to Sousuke's hip, teeth sinking into his skin in frustration. It still wasn't enough inside—the ache to be filled, to have Sousuke pushing into her completely, only doubled as Sousuke's efforts pulled her over another abrupt peak.

At last, as she trembled and moaned into his skin, Sousuke seemed willing to let up on her. He pulled back enough to let her recover, turning off the vibrator, and she took the opportunity to grab for a condom, tearing it open with shaking fingers. She glanced backwards, her expression heavy with need and as close as she would get to asking permission, before she slid the condom free and rolled it over Sousuke's length.

"If you come, it'll be inside me," she said, and she was glad Sousuke couldn't see enough of her face to watch her blush as she said it.

"Come here," Sousuke almost growled, his voice low with a hunger Gou almost didn’t recognize. He wrapped a hand around her upper arm, guiding her to face him again, and then pulled her down for a hard kiss as his arm slid around her shoulders, trapping her against his chest. Breathing raggedly, he bit at her lips, his free hand moving between her legs to run lightly over her slick folds. "Ready?"

Braced on her forearms, Gou wriggled her hips back until she felt the head of Sousuke's cock pressing against her.

"R-ready," she whispered back, barely a gasp, as she felt Sousuke start to slide into her and her own muscles seemed to pull him in, contracting eagerly around him in the echoes of her orgasm.

"Wait--" Before Gou could sink down on him entirely, Sousuke grasped her by the hip, forcing her to stop with him halfway inside.

Gou's heart stuttered briefly, worried she'd hurt him somehow, though from the sound of his voice, it seemed more likely she'd pushed too hard when he was so close to his finish already, when he was trying not to accidentally hurt _her_. When she looked more closely at him, she found his skin was covered in a layer of sweat, his breathing broken and his expression twisted with conflict. He cupped her cheek, kissing her sweetly, but his grip was tight enough to betray the want he was holding back as he steered her hips over him.

"Look at me," he murmured as he eased his hips up, coercing hers down to meet him slowly, carefully. She smiled at him in return, kissing his lips again and again, working a hand through his hair.

"Sousuke, you’re— You're driving me crazy. I can't help—" She cut herself off with a sharp breath as the girth of Sousuke's length started to stretch her limits, her muscles trembling around him. "G-god," she whispered, forcing her eyes to hold steady with his as she moaned. "So huge—fuck, _Sousuke_ —"

Sousuke's entire body seemed to jerk with her words, his nails gouging into her skin, and their kisses grew heavier with every rock of their hips.

"I want to feel you come," Sousuke whispered, heated gaze locked on hers, unremitting.

"You will," she promised. With a small grin, she adjusted her hips and, the moment Sousuke thrust up into her, rocked them forward instead of down. The result lit up her entire body, and she jerked her hand down to rub her clit eagerly as she rode him, pushing herself through another orgasm that curved her spine and drove her hips over him harder still. She was convulsing around him, pulling him deeper with every motion, and even as she nearly sobbed with relief, she couldn’t tear her eyes from his.

Because it was Sousuke looking back at her, all blue eyes and desperate hunger and intensity, looking at her like she was the whole world.

How long had she fantasized about those eyes? Wondered, even for a moment whenever their gazes lingered too long, and then looped those thoughts over and over again at night— She had spent so much time thinking about what she now had laid out below her, it felt almost unreal. It wouldn’t last, couldn’t, but in that moment, their hips still moving together in a slow daze, her body a quivering string pulled taut, she found she didn’t care.

Sousuke seemed to sense Gou’s energy shift. He smiled at her (god, he could smile) and secured an arm around her waist so he could roll them over, reversing their positions. Then he slid his hands down her thighs, drawing them in to push her knees together just in front of him, and the breath almost went out of her at how much the angle tightened her up inside. He said her name again as he rocked his hips, keeping his motions relatively shallow and quick while she adjusted. Her breath came out in a sharp, shaky gasp as her muscles clamped down around Sousuke and held on with each thrust, making him feel implausibly bigger and harder inside her each time.

"S-sou," she whimpered, gripping the sheets tightly in frustration, as the rest of him was too far away to reach for. She couldn't get enough leverage to even arch her hips, to guide Sousuke deeper the way she ached to, and she knew he was holding back that momentum that would _really_ make her see stars, so she had to resort to begging, her face half-buried against one hand. "Please--h-harder, harder--"

Through her fingers, Gou watched as Sousuke’s expression focus in on hers, and he nodded. Holding her legs together with one hand, Sousuke reached down to take a sizable handful of Gou's ass. The next moment, he was bringing her hips up and driving himself into a new angle that pressed right against her clit and she was coming again, helpless, crying out. The resulting clench of her muscles seemed to bring Sousuke to a halt, his breathing uneven as he held her aloft, and Gou met his gaze fiercely, a mix of pleasure, pleading, and a challenge in her expression at once.

She squeezed the breast Sousuke had bitten, tweaking her nipple, thumb pressing over the bruise marks, as her other hand fell to the bed above her head, gripping the sheets. " _Sousuke_.”

Releasing Gou's legs and spreading them wide again, Sousuke raked a hand back through his sweat-soaked hair. He inhaled deeply before easing himself down until their bodies were flush against each other again, sheathing himself fully inside her.

Gou wrapped her legs around Sousuke's waist to hold him close, their bodies pressed together so tightly that she could feel the slide of sweat between their skin, and she met the hunger of his lips with her own as he reached up to twine his fingers with hers over her head.

"You're so fucking gorgeous," he murmured.

"Sousuke," she whispered, brushing her fingers over his jaw, through his hair, down his neck. Her voice caught again when Sousuke's fingers found her swollen lips, the overheated places where their bodies were joined, and she shivered, suddenly aware of how deep he was, how _complete_ she felt, her body still rippling in the echoes of her last orgasm.

It was an impulsive idea, the kind quickly followed by a racing heartbeat and warmth in her limbs that had nothing to do with arousal, and luckily Sousuke's kisses were rough and continuous enough to prevent any of those impulses from spilling into words she couldn't take back. When they finally broke apart again, she knew affection was written all over her face, and the mirror of that expression in Sousuke's didn't ease her heartrate.

She leaned up, squeezing Sousuke's hand as she pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

"Whatever it is you're holding back," she murmured, "I'm ready for it. _All_ of it." She accented her words by tightening her thighs, pulling Sousuke in just a fraction closer. "Please."

For a few silent moments as his breathing evened out again, Sousuke gave Gou a considering look, heavy with arousal and thousand other unreadable things. His fingers tightened around hers, a brief, reassuring thing, and in that moment, Gou was deeply glad she hadn’t stopped trying to reach him, would never stop trying.

Even when her brother had graduated and left for a competitive school in Australia; even when Sousuke had stopped answering her letters, only sporadically answered her texts; she hadn’t dared to let him go. In a small way, he was a reminder of a life that was slipping through her fingers, the last of her childhood things, but in a much larger way, she didn’t let Sousuke go because she didn’t want to think about what might happen to him in that absence.

Old adages aside, she loved Sousuke completely enough to know that letting him go was the wrong choice when he wasn’t strong enough to come back to her on his own. When being alone and sad was easier, or seemed easier, than keeping his hand in hers. Gou was willing to be the brute, selfish force that held Sousuke here in her arms, for as long as he would let her.

“I believe you,” Sousuke murmured, and the emotion that flickered over his face made Gou sure his thoughts had run in a similar direction. Trusting her was all she could ask of him, and as he kissed her again, Gou sank into it with her heart pounding somewhere near her throat.

Sousuke shifted up, prising one of her thighs from his waist and turning her hips gently. Once she was half-lying on her side, he straddled one thigh and guided the other over his shoulder. He laid a hand over the curve of her hip and ass, holding her still as he sat back, thrusting into her suddenly and sharply. His fingers grazed over her clit in slow circles as he picked up a fast, hard pace, "Gou..."

“Sousuke—“ Having Sousuke stopped deep inside her was one thing, but his thrusts pushing all the way into her, stretching her open completely around him, made her see white, her hands grabbing for the sheets. She was belatedly annoyed, in the small remainder of her coherent thoughts, that he'd held off so long from _this_ ; she came again in moments under his hand and the pace of his hips, her body taut and shaking.

Sousuke grappled her hips around moments later, moving back on top of her so he could lean down to catch her lips again; he couldn't keep the edge of desperation out of it, or even the note of affection to his tone as he whispered her name.

Gou's body wrapped around Sousuke and pulled him in tight; finally able to control her own motions again, she took the opportunity to twist her hips up into Sousuke's, to curl her spine and raise her ass in ways that drove Sousuke deep and rubbed against every nerve along the way. Gou let every moan and cry echo freely, mixed with Sousuke's name on repeat and punctuated by the wet, hard slap of their skin and the few small sounds Sousuke made against her. She felt dizzy and aroused beyond belief, her body quaking so hard she couldn't tell if she had finished one orgasm or started another. Her arms wrapped around Sousuke's neck and buried in his hair like a lifeline, her lips finding his ear.

"S-Sousuke--" Her breath staggered at a particular angle, and she slid one hand down Sousuke's back, fingers pressed into the taut, shaped muscles of his back. "Come for me," she whispered. "G-god, you're so deep, please, Sousuke--"

It took less than a minute for him to obey, but not before he had slid an arm around her waist, drawing her ass and lower back completely off the bed and into his own body, the weight of which pressed down into her in return.

Gou nearly sobbed in pleasure and relief as Sousuke let go of the last few threads of self-control, his thrusts becoming wild and nearly bruising, her hips meeting his in ways that made her cry out his name desperately, her nails digging into his scalp and back. When he finally stilled inside her, buried to the hilt after one last thrust, the sound of his finish nearly drove her to her own; she'd never loved the sound of her name, but the way Sousuke breathed it made her tremble, her heart hammering in her chest.

The muscles of his back and hips flexed repeatedly while he rode it out, whispering her name like a chant. The moment he seemed to come to his senses, laying her back on the bed, he wasted no time sliding his fingers down to bring her over the edge with him, his forehead pressed to hers.

She found her peak again in moments, her own voice a shuddery mess of moans and curses, but her eyes never tore from his. She knew every emotion was written all over her face, and as she came again, grinding into his fingers, the swell of it nearly choked her. She was forced to squeeze her eyes shut to hold back the sudden burn of tears there, not wanting Sousuke to misunderstand; she was so overwhelmingly _happy_. Sousuke was in her arms and nothing else mattered as she held onto him through every wave, feeling complete.

When his lips found hers again, she felt as fragile as glass, and she held him that much tighter in response, smothering her shaking breath into his lips.

It felt like an eternity when they finally came back to earth, his face buried in her neck, her whole body hot and overworked. Sousuke nuzzled at Gou’s neck faintly before pulling away, which she resisted only for a brief moment before she realized he was just getting rid of the condom. When he rolled back to her side, their arms came around each other again immediately.

Gou made a content sound as Sousuke’s fingers ran through her hair, gathering it over one shoulder and pushing it back from her face, smiling faintly. She leaned into the touch of his hand, her gaze meeting his with warmth.

"Sousuke," she murmured, her voice rough and throaty as she slid a hand behind his neck, pulling him down for a soft kiss. "I was right," she said, a small laugh bubbling from her stomach as an irrepressible grin crept onto her lips. "I didn't know what I was missing. I should have paid attention in elementary school, scrawny or not."

Chuckling, Sousuke slid his hand into Gou's hair, returning the kiss. He reached down for the blanket and yanked it up over their bodies, half-burying his face into the pillow with a long, contented sigh.

"Let's face it," he said with a small smirk, "I wasn't much to look at. And that was when you were still obsessed with the Backstreet Boys, like I could compare to that."

"Don't bring A.J. into this," Gou laughed, though her voice squeaked as his hand squeezed her ass playfully.

They were peppering each other’s faces with kisses, moving together more comfortably until her body slotted into his chest like they were built together. Her hand slid over Sousuke's back and down to his ass, though her fondling was more admiration than teasing.

"Well," she said, pressing her face to Sousuke's collarbone as she flushed. "You're plenty to look at now."

Snorting, Sousuke grinned against Gou's temple. "If you want that picture, you better take it. It's a one-time offer." He grazed his hand over the back of her neck. "And you're staying over."

"I'll take it soon.” Gou gave a pleased smile, though even she was finding it hard to keep her eyes open, her sated body and Sousuke's warmth dragging her down. “And obviously," she added, squirming closer to make her point. She didn't bother to mention that she'd already texted her parents on the way to Sousuke's to say she'd be staying with Chigusa that night. She and her brother did share romanticism in common, and that required post-coital cuddles no matter what.

As the silences between them lapsed longer and drowsier, Gou found Sousuke’s hand with her own as she murmured, "I'm glad you came out with me, Sousuke. And not just... I missed you. When you stopped answering my texts, I..."

“Sorry,” Sousuke breathed, pressing another lazy kiss to her lips. "Guess I'm no better than Rin, huh."

Gou exhaled softly, the kiss still sending a warm tingle through her in a way she hoped she never tired of.

"No one's as bad as Rin," she said, a slight grumble in her tone even as the thought rubbed her raw.

She knew her brother's poor communication, his cavalier attitude towards friends and family, was all in the name of his drive, and she didn't have to worry about him anymore; but the fact that he didn't need her didn't make her feel better, either. And Sousuke—Sousuke's withdrawn attitude, the symptoms of his struggle were so similar to Rin's, but there was no one left to help him, no old friends to drag into a swimming team just to make him smile. There was only Rin, idiot Rin, out-of-the-country Rin, and her.

"Just promise you won't disappear," she murmured, her arm tightening around him. "That you'll text back. You're important to me, and I..." She trailed off, but the words continued, too dangerous to be said properly: _I love you._

"There's nowhere for me to disappear to," Sousuke said, his voice almost wry. "It's not like before, Gou. I don't have anything to..." She felt him shiver in her arms, so quick she almost missed it. "I won't do it again.”

Gou nodded slightly, blinking back tears as she pressed her face into Sousuke's neck. The tenor of Sousuke's words, his defeated attitude towards his future nearly broke her heart all over again. Even her own dread of whatever came _next_ when her own school year ended made her feel worse for Sousuke; having a dream taken away from you seemed ten times worse than having no dream at all.

She had to flick through her mental catalog of all the little smiles that had lingered on Sousuke's lips that day, the way he'd looked at her, the way he'd kissed her, just to remember that it wasn't all doom and gloom, that she wasn't just the fallback plan or the next-best option for Sousuke's future happiness. That right now, curled up together, was enough for her. She just hoped it would be enough for him, too.

"I'll forgive you," she said, swallowing her serious tone for one that was lighter again, "if I get to keep Sou-kuma's name."

Sousuke seemed to accept the change in topic gratefully. He made a scoffing sound, pulling back enough to grin at her.

"As long as you drop the -suke," he said firmly. "Then it's a deal."

"Deal," Gou agreed with a small laugh, pressing herself closer to Sousuke. She felt warm and drowsy, every part of her dragging towards sleep as soon as she let her eyes slip closed. She wished she could freeze this moment, remember it exactly as it was: Sousuke’s heartbeat against her own, their fingers laced together, the future kept at bay for just a bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sierra: ([tumblr](http://sierrasuke.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/sierrasuke))
> 
> dawn: ([tumblr](http://finship.tumblr.com/))
> 
> and so ends the sougou porn train 2016! thank you for reading as always, and we hope you enjoyed. :>


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